Are We Being Too Critical Of Our Mum Performance?
It is becoming more common to have children later in life. This means women have often spent extended time in the workforce before having children and come into the role having experienced lots of success and enjoyed the social atmosphere of the workplace. Certain occupations can make you more vulnerable to being self critical and having unrealistic expectations. Working as a teacher, child care worker or pediatric nurse means that you are comfortable being with children and have some understanding of what to expect. However there is a major difference, you don’t have an emotional attachment or responsibility for raising those children.
Each child is unique and what works for one won’t always work. For example you may have had plenty of experience helping babies learn to to sleep and then experience difficulty applying the same techniques with your own child. Getting very little sleep and less regular contact with other adults can amplify your sense of failure. This can lead to self criticism and anxiety about not doing a good enough job. I guess that’s why they say ignorance is bliss. Being able to reflect on your when your emotions are being triggered, helps you to step back from the situation and see what is going on in a more objective way .
Likewise you may know all about good nutrition and breast feeding and then find yourself with a baby who can’t breast feed or a toddler who is a fussy eater. You are likely to feel more frustrated that your child won’t eat or respond to what you know from previous work experience is important. Sometimes success in the workplace achieving your key performance goals is transferred to a mum KPI list. Do you find yourself focusing on what have not done versus what you have?
Being a good mum can’t be measured objectively like a job appraisal. Being able to reflect accurately on what is working well, what you miss from life before kids or could do differently will help you make changes to improve satisfaction and wellbeing.
