Who is this little person?

It is easy to judge a child’s behaviour as a product of parenting alone. While we can shape our children, some traits are out of our control.

You may not be aware that you can identify temperament (how you respond to the world) from looking at early infant behaviour. Babies display their own unique personality from the moment they are born. These differences explain why some babies are actually harder to manage and this is amplified when you don’t understand their style.

 Here’s a quick snap shot of key variables to look out for to help you understand your baby and how they may be like you or not. 

These traits occur on a continuum. Responding with an adaptive parenting style best allows for supporting your child’s needs.

Babies show an innate activity level from being content to sit and watch the world go by to constantly moving and eager to advance their motor skills. This will impact on play and routine choices.

Intensity levels refers to how loudly your baby expresses how they are feeling. from joy, to hunger, the feel of a wet nappy and fatigue, are all expressed to variable levels of intensity. The flip side to a baby that expresses themselves intensely, is they often make assertive adults. Sensitivity to noise and touch interact with how your child feels too.

Frustration level sits alongside intensity and relates to ability to persist with tasks. This might show itself by their response to being placed on their tummy or moving quickly between toys if they can’t master them. It doesn’t mean you have an “angry” baby but one that will benefit from learning to persist by offering reassurance and support to build patience. Persistent learners might seem easier to manage but they are often given high praise for their independence and need to know they can also ask for help.

Adaptability is also something your born with. Those babies that fall asleep anywhere and the others that will only sleep in their cot at home are pre-wired to do so. Kids who don’t handle transitions well, respond to preparation for what’s coming up and some choice. In contrast the go with flow baby, may seem like a dream but they risk being overlooked in times of a change they don’t cope with. 

Sociability is also inbuilt. Some babies smile easily, seek out eye contact with everyone. In contrast others are cautious and prefer to self-entertain. This can be tough if you are highly extroverted and don’t understand why all the social exposure hasn’t rubbed off. Social babies are affirming as parents but all babies can learn to be social in their own way.

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be all that we can to our children. We must remember that not everything comes down to nurture over nature. Accepting your child’s personality for what it is, allows room for finding creative ways to cater to their needs.