Cultivating Optimism in time for Winter
On the back of working on gratitude last week, lets dial up our sense of optimism this week. It’s easy to slip into isolation and a sense of doom as the days get colder and shorter.
Do you have a vision of what the best version of you would look like? It’s so easy to go about life with a sense of dread. Taking time to imagine what life would look like in a world where you liked yourself is the starting point for change.
We are often full of hopes and dreams for our children but neglect to ponder our own goals. Spend some time reflecting on what you want to stand for as a mum and a human. Just the very act of focusing on it, takes you closer towards it.
Sure, the bad news radio will chime in with pointing out your limits but ignore it and persist with asking yourself the question. Plan little ways you can work towards that self. If you want to be more creative make time for drawing or imagination. If you want to cook better take classes or ask a culinary friend for help. If you hate your job start thinking of what it is you’d prefer to do and reward yourself for the effort it takes to go. Feeling disconnected from parenting then make time to connect through play, meals and outings.
We are hard wired to see the negatives to protect ourselves from danger. Through being aware of each time you fall into negativity can also halt the habit in its track. Ask yourself to STOP and refocus on something else. The trick is to reduce the air time. Take your attention to something else such as a chore, an object or change the scenery.
Once there’s some mental distance from the thought, you create space to challenge it. How is it true and not true? Feeling consumed by self-criticism or fear can feel like it will never end and deeply personal. To prove this is true, get a friend to say out loud to you, your most common negative thoughts. I guarantee you that it will feel different hearing it externalised. You will have more capacity to debate its validity and understand the meaning.
Finally, and most importantly schedule in doing things that you know make you feel good. And when that isn’t possible dial up those positive memories from the feel-good memory centre that lies dormant in all of us. These activities need to be simple and readily accessible. To get you started smell your favourite aroma, listen to upbeat music, prepare a delicious meal, cuddle your child or compliment them on what you love about them, help someone out in need. When you do this, you release feel good brain vibes and build stronger pathways towards optimism.
