Self Love - A way out of Suffering

 Showing self compassion is all about turning the love inward. Loving others - your family, friends and the world come more naturally then self- love. How easy it is to neglect ourselves, talk down and always expect more output and less errors.

What if there was a way out of this relentless striving?

Try these three achievable steps to halting the self-critic and turning the mind to a gentler focus. 

It starts with showing our inner selves’ kindness. Next time you notice the voice in your head condemning your latest failing. Show understanding by changing self-talk from” I need to do better” to “I accept you just the way you are”. Notice problems without launching into judgment. It’s our resistance to accepting mistakes that leads to stress and frustration. 

Alternatively think about what you would say to a friend in the same circumstances. You will quickly see a shift towards kindness and understanding.

Next practise daily mindfulness. Make time to pause, breath and bring your focus into the present moment. Each time you do this you build new pathways towards greater self-awareness. Practise noticing the thoughts pass by and see that there is part of you observing the thought, that is not engaged in the self-criticism.  

We tend to feel isolated when we engage in harsh self-judgment. When we notice something about ourselves we don’t like, we irrationally feel like everyone else is perfect and it’s onlyme who is inadequate. This isn’t a logical process, but all too common. When we connect with others we see that everyone has their own challenges. 

If you are worried that showing self compassion will hinder productivity, it doesn’t work like that. It just allows you to move forward without getting snagged on what went wrong.