Keeping Yourself Light and Polite

In  my upcoming book I deep dive into what I have learnt from working with lots of mum and what helps them move from despair to enjoying their parenting journey. Learning to keep yourself light and polite when things aren’t going to plan, is the ultimate challenge.

When are your most vulnerable times of the day? Or do a series of events snow ball on top of each other and it is the smallest thing at the end of the day that leaves you feeling like you can’t cope.

Your day may start out well if you are well slept and have plenty of time but when does that ever happen? More likely you are downright tired and find it hard to wake up and get going .You may get yourself going only to find yourself dealing with straight out refusal or an almighty melt down when your child doesn’t get their own way.

 Whatever it is that sets off a stress response in you, it is worth getting to know how your brain works . Your strongest reactions come on within less then a second.  With no time to consider how you would like to respond ,it is not surprising that these knee jerk reactions can be disproportionate and unhelpful to the situation.

 We get hooked into over reacting in an attempt to regain control.  Afterwards you might chastise yourself for doing what you swore you would not do. This pep talk won’t stop you from doing the same thing again next time. This is because we are wired to survive and past experiences shape how we react. That means how you were parented and past similar events dictate responses over what might actually be happening and how you would like to respond.

Taking charge is as simple and as hard as creating a pause. STOP don’t move a muscle and take a few slow deep breaths. This buys time for the more rational part of you to kick in. The change in breathing tells your brain you are safe and not in danger. From there it’s about getting to know your triggers, fact checking unhelpful thoughts and practising effective actions.

 Over the coming weeks I’m going to be talking a lot more about where our reactions come from and what you can do about it.