You can be a mum and anything that floats your boat

What would you think if you met a woman on a business trip interstate and she told you she had left her newborn (one month old) at home with their dad?Would you be supportive? Or would you judge her as being selfish or not bonded to her baby?

Society says it’s totally okay for a dad to do what he likes after a baby comes along. We are quick to cheerlead any time taken off work to help out.

On the contrary I’m guessing more questions would be raised about how this mother could leave her baby for so long and go far away.

Judgments about how the baby will be fed, settled without its mother for comfort and how she will cope being away and finally how lucky she is to have such a supportive partner.

 There is every chance that this sort of scenario would come about because the parents have deliberately chosen to share an equal parenting role from the very start. It is not just about baby care. Shared contribution towards domestics, income and self-care all helps prevent one person ending up overwhelmed and exhausted.

With many people waiting until later in life to have children, it is more common that women have established careers and want to maintain their work status after a baby arrives.

 Gender stereotypes have been given a shake-up in 2020 as families found themselves all under the same roof with no job or school to retreat to. Suddenly there was no reason why roles and responsibilities couldn’t be redistributed. For some this opened doors to new ways of parenting and sharing the work load. For others resentment grew as nothing changed.  It is never too late to share how you feeling as long as your prepared to take on board different ways of doing things.     

 You don’t need permission from anyone to be your own version of being a mum. Those old school traditional roles could do with a shake-up.

One of my most important roles is to support women to unpack who and how they want to be. This is tough when you come under the harsh criticism of others . Some useful strategies are shared in my new book take a journey to calm...