Birth Stories..The Trauma and the Elation

I have heard women report the best and the worst of birth stories. One woman I will never forget told the story of how her baby ultimately didn’t survive and she was seeking therapy to prepare herself before trying again. It makes me wonder, what is the right amount of information to know beforehand? Where is the line between feeling prepared versus fearing the worst case scenario. In any event most people go into child birth with a loose plan. They may have written it down, told their partner or birthing team what they want. Creating a birthing plan is a useful exercise to explore scenarios and put into words your views regarding pain management, intervention etc.

One of the barriers to sharing a painful birth story is some women feel they should not complain when they have a healthy baby. The trouble is the trauma doesn’t simply disappear. Sometimes it lurks in the background and interferes with early bonding. It  may present itself as flashbacks, have left significant physical injuries or unexplained anxiety about what went wrong or worrying if your baby really is okay. Mothers share their birth stories with loved ones and at mothers group as a warm up exercise. This can be cathartic and validating. However it can also lead to questioning whether your experience was unlike others. Should you have gone to the hospital sooner or done more pelvic floor exercises. Your traumatic birth experience is not your fault but it won’t stop you self blaming.

Another myth is that birth is a natural rite of passage and your body will know what to do. and t will be the happiest moment of your life. Despite this being the case for some, it is not for all. If your baby's birth is not easy, and you are left feeling overwhelmed, be sure to talk to someone to make sense of it and make peace with it.