Stigma gets in the way

We live in a society that is accepting of physical illness but frowns upon mental illness. Despite this it is a growing issue and estimated that  1 In 5 of us will experience depression or anxiety at some point in our life. The invisibility of its symptoms that work from the inside out,  sets it apart from a physical illness. The rate of postnatal depression is 1 in 7 women and most likely higher if we count all the cases that go undetected. Education is improving and the conversation is changing to it being okay to ask for help.

The arrival of a new baby is anticipated to be a time of joy and happiness. Before the arrival of your baby , hopes and dreams about what parenthood commence . What will life be like and what type of baby will I get. Will it be a boy or girl , sleep well , be good at sport or smart. Perhaps you worry about how you’ll cope without sleep and will you have any time for yourself. Sometimes babies come unplanned or take a long time to eventuate. All these factors play a role in how you transition to motherhood.

Stigma is a negative stereo type and the image of a depressed mother conjures up harsh judgement. Women who feel depressed or anxious face their own stigma. I have met many women who are exceptionally self critical about how they should feel and a sense they are failing because they admit to struggling. This often leads to fear of being seen as an unfit mother and child protection involvement. This is compounded by feeling guilty that you should be happy and grateful for having a healthy baby.

Society fuels this by portraying motherhood with unrealistic images of women shredding post baby weight easily and looking adoringly at your new baby with full make up and designer clothes for mother and baby. Being depressed doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby but it may delay the bonding. It takes a brave woman to disclose not feeling connected to her baby or her usual self. Taking that first step is the road to recovery.